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courting pierre felt like an uphill battle.
every single time liam tried to flirt with the... man? spirit? fucked-up-guy-thing-with-a-loose-concept-of-gender? he ended up humiliating himself beyond recovery. god, he felt himself losing skill with every failed attempt at seducing it.
it started at the party where he masterfully crafted a plan to kiss it during a game of truth or dare. pierre would be sitting on his left, while liam planted the idea in scotts head that it would be just Hilarious to make pierre kiss someone. it was truly some inception level mastermind-ism, if not for a small factor liam forgot to consider.
pierre was kind of a fucking idiot.
pierre immediately turned to start making out with the wall, leaving liam confused and upset because he assumed that pierre went out of his way to not kiss him. in fact that was Not the case, as mugunghwa explained later, pierre just doesn't know which way was which.
somehow, this made liam More attracted to him.
"hey dickwad, you look like you're going to have a panic attack." pierre's voice pierced his thoughts like a stake through his heart, or something as equally melodramatic and lame.
"ah, pierre!" liam exclaimed, really pushing it with the french pronunciation.
"bonjour liam ! commentaire va le petit salope aujourd'hui ?" pierre responded. liam fumbled, he didn't actually know any french. or rather, being in america for the past 300 years meant he forgot most of it. french was SO 19th century. what did pierre say?
"uh... je me s... je suis—je veux..?" he stumbled through his non-sentence. it rose its eyebrows.
"so you just... pronounce my name in the french way... for fun?" he said slowly and liam's face grew hotter. he shrugged and muttered a few excuses. pierre looked unimpressed. he felt himself lose -3 CHARM.
this sucked. it's too confusing. it wasn't like pierre was cooler than him, because liam had carefully cultivated his interests and behaviour to always be the most hip, cool, and aloof person in the room while simultaneously being incredibly involved (and by extension completely over) any and all social trends.
so why was this so hard?
liam had finally thought of a smart response before noticing that he had left, and in it's place was mugunghwa giving him a sympathetic (if not pitying) smile.
"how did that go so terribly?" he bemoaned.
"i mean this so delicately my friend, but you kind of are a pretentious douchebag." they said candidly. usually, this remark would be scathing, but they were just so charming that he actually listened! he gained +1 UNDERSTANDING, but since that's not a usable stat he sold the understanding for +2 MONEY. profit!
"i think i need to buy him some sort of gift. or take him somewhere. something frivolous to show that i'm not only an aloof, stone cold suitor, but also a thoughtful, caring friend. what does pierre like?" he asked.
"i don't think you're going to be listening to me anyway..."
he nodded. "thats perfect, i SHOULD take him there! thanks, you're not as lame as i thought." he said, running off with a plan. thanks? mugunghwa gained +1 SMARTS and +2 CREATIVITY, i guess.
pierre was in the lunch room with damien, trying to coach the demon through his next interaction with mugunghwa.
pierre knew that mugunghwa knew he was really behind all of damien's yellow fruit-phobic comments. but they hadn't said anything yet, not going further than reprimanding damien for his weird, incredibly targeted racism. for some reason, damien still kept coming to pierre for advice. it was awesome.
liam strutted over to them with that smug grin on his face. he had planned on taking pierre to Cave Excavation Site #21958, the hottest club of the future. literally! the club itself hadn't been built yet, and wouldn't be for a few decades! liam was so ahead of the times, he was ahead of time itself.
"fancy seeing you here, my dear pierre." liam said, not bothering with the accent this time.
pierre peered at him. "you... walked up to the table?" liam flushed. god, even just making eye contact with him made him weak.
"uh, well. anyway." liam coughed, shooting damien a glare as he snickered. "i wanted to ask if you would like to go to Cave Excavation Site #21958 with me?"
pierre thought about for a second, and then smiled. "i mean, sure. wh—" he froze, eyes widening, before his smile turned into a delighted, devious grin.
"wait, are you SCARED to go alone? HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT THIS LOSER WHO CAN'T EVEN EXPLORE A CAVE!" pierre yelled to the cafeteria, who all burst into (very canned) laughter. liam flushed a bright pink, and he felt his BOLDNESS, CHARM, and FUN drain from him by the second.
damien nudged it's shoulder. well, he punched him in the shoulder full force, but it was emotionally equivalent. in a comically random event, the cafeteria's attention turned elsewhere. scott had accidentally eaten a stick of dynamite disguised as a hot dog! "pierre, you're fucking stupid dude. liam's asking you out."
pierre blinked, processing, as damien turned back to his notes intently. "now you're saying to win them over, i should talk about how surprised i am at how good their english is? or ask them to translate kpop lyrics?"
it's confusion immediately melted from his face and was replaced with a grin. liam realized with a dawning horror what pierre was setting damien up for. his non-beating heart fluttered at the creativity and ingenuity it took to pull this off. not in a racist way, he thinks..?
liam coughed, drawing his attention back to the blushing vampire. "yes. so. i may have been asking you to go on a date with me. of course, it will be no normal date. my taste in venues is refined and impeccable. a—"
"if i say yes can you go away"
liam froze, mouth agape. he opened it and closed it a few times, trying to think of how exactly to respond to that.
"close your mouth before i fuck it, dude." pierre said and liam sputtered, blushing brightly. his heart would be racing at a comment like that. thankfully, damien was too preoccupied listening to... vocaloids that pierre promised was kpop.
"i guess i'll go then? unless you're turning me down. but then, if you were, i would still want to leave as to not embarass myself more? but if i did..." he trailed off, mumbling, fidgeting with his hands. he looked distressed. pierre thought it was cute.
"sure. lets go. i can't wait. make sure you wear something your ass looks nice in," pierre said as the bell rang for their next class. he paused, "well. it looks pretty great already, so you're good there. i gotta go watch damien crash and burn now. bye." it rushed off, leaving liam dumbfounded—but happy.
liam felt light as a feather. he couldn't wipe the grin off his face. he knew it ruined his aloof and standoffish cool guy facade, but he couldn't care