Offline Notepad
View raw
MAIN:
Cotton: When do you usually go to sleep? Black Raisin: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the ancients.
Strawberry Crepe: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Sea Fairy will and will not eat. Cotton: Grass? Yes! Strawberry Crepe: Moss? Yes!! Cotton: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Strawberry Crepe: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Cotton: Worms? Sometimes! Strawberry Crepe: Rocks? Usually nah. Cotton: Twigs? Usually! Strawberry Crepe: Black Raisin's cooking? Inconclusive! Frost Queen: How did you… test this? Strawberry Crepe: You just hand her stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if she eats it, she eats it. Frost Queen: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Black Raisin: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
Cotton: Kicks the door open, looking panicked Sea Fairy: What did you do?! Cotton: NOBODY DIED! Sea Fairy: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
The Squad: walking at the mall Cotton: Hey, have any of you guys seen Black Raisin? She's been gone for a while.. Frost Queen: Eh, nope. Sea Fairy: No, I haven’t... Strawberry Crepe: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something. Black Raisin: Hey. Cotton: Ooh, there you are- Frost Queen: What the fu- Strawberry Crepe: I- where were you?! Black Raisin: Walking right behind you guys.
Cotton: Why are you drinking? Sea Fairy: I drink when I'm depressed. Cotton: But you're always drinking? Sea Fairy: smug grin
Strawberry Crepe: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée".
Sea Fairy: Isn’t a bit dangerous? Cotton: Sea Fairy, please. We’ve in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and we always escape unhurt. Sea Fairy: ... Cotton: Okay, we sometimes escape unhurt. Sea Fairy: ... Cotton: Alright, we escaped unhurt once... Then we hurt ourselves in the way home.
Frost Queen: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this Kingdom. Sea Fairy: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?
Strawberry Crepe: ARE YOU- Sea Fairy: Fucking. Strawberry Crepe: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Sea Fairy Fucking. Strawberry Crepe: IDIOT! Cotton: …What was that? Sea Fairy: Frost Queen banned Strawberry Crepe from swearing, so I’m helping them out.
Strawberry Crepe: Where are my fucking keys? Sea Fairy: Strawberry Crepe, Cotton is around, can you say it a little nicer? Strawberry Crepe: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!
Strawberry Crepe: The greatest trick the devil ever played was getting me banned from a all you can eat pizza buffet. Cotton: Why’d you get banned? Strawberry Crepe: Touched the rat. Cotton: … What rat? Strawberry Crepe: Chunky Cheese.
Black Raisin and Sea Fairy's house is on fire, but they don't know it Black Raisin: Damn, it's hot in here. Sea Fairy: I know, it's so hot there's smoke coming out of the vent! Black Raisin: Black Raisin: First of all, I'm assuming you have no idea what the problem with that statement is. Sea Fairy: What? Black Raisin: Second of all, we need to get the fuck out of here, NOW.
Cotton: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.
Generate Quote Shuffle Names The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy Strawberry Crepe: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing? Sea Fairy: No, Strawberry Crepe. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs. Strawberry Crepe: No, that’s not part of it— Sea Fairy: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there? Cotton: I would want to live with no legs. Sea Fairy: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Frost Queen. You don’t do anything. Strawberry Crepe: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him. Sea Fairy pumps frantically Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute. Sea Fairy: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour? Black Raisin: How’s that gonna help you? Sea Fairy: I will divide and then count to it. Black Raisin: Right. Strawberry Crepe: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song? Sea Fairy: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. (syntax error) First I was afraid, I was petrified.
ALT:
Eclair: Love makes people do stupid things. Vampire: I love everything! Eclair: That explains a lot.
Custard: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.
Mango: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'. Custard: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'. Kumiho: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'. Eclair: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'. Kumiho: flips the board
Vampire: Kumiho you can’t move in with Eclair. Kumiho: Why not? Vampire: Well, um, how are you going to feel when he sees you without any makeup? Kumiho: I’m not wearing makeup right now. Vampire: Holy crap, you’re beautiful.
Vampire: Plants are basically the ideal friends. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly awful life choices, or hide their relationships. They have never, as far as I know, fucked a kumiho.
Custard: Do you have any idea what you’re doing? Mango: Why start now?
Mango: Here are two pictures. one of them is your room, and the other is the garbage dump. Vampire: points at a picture That one is the dump. Mango: tHEY'RE BOTH YOUR ROOM!
Custard: How did you even get in here? Kumiho: Mango's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Kumiho's door"! Mango: I’m closing the window.
Kumiho: Eclair, how do you feel about lifting heavy things? Eclair: My doctor just said I should avoid— Kumiho: Being a wuss? I agree.
Vampire: ...I'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something. Eclair, grenade in hand: Alright, but is it explosion-proof?
Eclair: I honestly feel like some of our conversations here are almost word-for-word accurate to the generator. Custard: Yup. Vampire: Maybe the generator is watching us. Custard: Wouldn't that imply this conversation will be added? Eclair: ... Eclair: Wait—
Vampire dies in a game with ships Kumiho: This ship is no longer a ship of love, it's a ship of vengeance, a gavel of justice against all that is wrong in the world, showing no mercy, as no mercy was shown to us. Kumiho: The spark of love will now fuel the fires of destructive glory as I wage my war across the world with righteous fury. Mango: Legend has it that Vampire still haunts the ship, stealing my fucking drinks. Vampire: Of course I do.
Eclair, pointing to the wall: What color is this? Kumiho: Gray. Custard: Grey. Eclair, turning to Vampire: Now tell them what color you think it is. Vampire: Dark white.
Eclair, dramatically: They called me a fool. Mango, sick of Eclair's shit: They weren’t wrong.
Kumiho: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Vampire a little bit. Mango, holding Kumiho's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Kumiho: No, that's our joint tombstone. Mango: My mistake.
Vampire, explaining why he is not allowed to cook: I put the noodles in the pot and put the pot on the stove and turned the burner on high. Turns out you don't put noodles in marijuana and I almost burnt the whole kingdom down.
Mango: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.
Kumiho: I'm a firm believer in "if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly."
Vampire: I'm not that stupid! Kumiho: Vampire, you literally ate the wax from a babybel. Vampire: ECLAIR TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!