Sometime things just get out of your hand and somehow you just stuck there on one thought which you cannot just get out of your mind, sometime I think of the things that will never happen and I also think of the things that has happened and somehow both the time it makes me realize that my life has so much misery which I do not wish to remember but to remember you need to forget those things somehow all those things are just stuck in  my head and I cannot get my head out of it. 
For One day I wanna think that whatever has happened and whatever is happening is not because of me and neither I am the cause of it but somehow I always end up blaming myself for all the things that has happened and I do not wish to remember it. 
As said by Kafka the thing which I read once and can't get out of my head "There are times, dearest, when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship."  
and it's just stuck in my head, I regret every decision I took in my life and everything which I said to the people to let people come into my life and get attached to me when I know I cannot take care of them and I hate this heaviness in my heart which I feel every time I think about my closed one. 
I hate the though that someone will get hurt if I die and I hate hurting people. I wish I could just stop existing for the people who loves me and want me in their  life.