damien didn't fucking get it.

"i'm telling you directly dude. mugunghwa is very easy to understand. they just don't have anything beneath the surface."

"but that doesn't make SENSE! WHY don't they??" damien yelled, throwing a punch in rage. or confusion. he wasn't really sure, but pierre dodged the hit regardless.

was it depression? were they depressed? that would explain their low fun stat. but depression wasn't a complete absence of emotion, it was just that numbness was the most overpowering one. he understood depression. his therapist made sure he understood it. he wasn't depressed, but it was important information i guess. he lost -1 FUN that day, but gained +2 CHARM for being so good about it.

anyway, depressed people aren't typically known for their boldness or charm. so what was it? he narrowed his eyes at it.

"you're lying." damien stated, and pierre grinned.

"sure, bud. THIS time i'm lying to you. the one time i try to help that isn't a ploy for me actively sabotaging your relationship with them." he shrugged, "if you wanna take what i'm saying as a lie, i won't stop you. hell, i think it'll be funny."

damien just sat there. he couldn't believe it. how could someone have absolutely nothing below the surface? he shuddered. it was freaky, like something from a really misogynistic horror movie about how beauty is superficial and that's why women can't be trusted. he wrote an entire mental essay as to why that kind of movie should be criticized despite the director being well known in the business. and then he remembered that the movie wasn't even real, and he was just making up a guy to get mad at. well, he still gained +2 CREATIVITY for that, i guess?

"why don't you just... hang out with them?"

"what do you mean." damien said.

pierre gave him a look. "i don't know if you've realized this but you have literally never had an actual conversation with them that wasn't me just convincing you to be racist because its really funny."

damien blinked. "well it doesn't count because you were telling me to say it." before pierre could interrupt him and tell him that it still counted he continued. "anyway, what does hanging out with them even mean?"

pierre shrugged, "i guess you could play a video game with them? you seem like the kind of dude to be into dark souls."

damien bristled at this. "yeah? because it's violent? you think i just like violent video games? well guess WHAT, asshole, i actually hate dark souls!" way to stereotype, dude. pierre lost -1 CHARM, mostly because he couldn't afford to lose more. you know what they say about assumptions, they make an ass out of U and ME.

"well. my bad i guess." pierre said, not really thinking it was his bad at all. "plus, i said dark souls because THEY like dark souls."

"oh." damien said, face getting hot with embarassment. he coughed. "video games could work. my favourite is animal crossing, do you think they like that?"

"i dunno."

"i know what you're gonna say, 'animal crossing barely counts as a REAL game'. but its fun! it's really cute, and i love making connections with the villagers. but don't assume this means im all soft and shit! being nice in-game means i get to be TWICE as violent in real life!" he grinned. in all honesty, pierre did not care enough to make assumptions. but it was nice that damien thought it did.

in a leap of logic that barely works, damien manages to convince himself that playing animal crossing was the most badass of video games. pierre gained +2 BOLDNESS just by listening to his explanation, and +1 CREATIVITY for just how much of a stretch it was. if he was any other person, he would have lost -2 SMARTS just by hearing it, but the gods (or, whoever is awarding these points) took pity on his already pathetic stat. sweet!

"what if they don't wanna play?" pierre asked him, and he paused, thinking. it wasn't often that damien thought.

"i could... watch kdramas?" damien offered. pierre raised an eyebrow. damien put up his hands defensively.  "they've mentioned liking some! i'm not racist! i love the yellow fruit!!"

"i... okay. don't call them that. that's how this whole mess got started."

"huh, i forgot. yknow, it seems like we've been doing this racism plotline for a lot longer than we have, but that might just because we revisit it so often."

"yeah. anyway," pierre continued, "that's not actually a bad idea. why didn't you just start with this? why go through all the hoops of trying to decipher if there's a person under all of that charm, instead of just trying to find things that they actually like?"

"ugh, this is so complicated. why can't i just be hot and have them explain the complexities of their brain to me?" damien groaned. pierre rolled his eyes.

"you literally just need to talk to them. it's not even that hard."

"maybe i'll never know how to understand them. maybe i just have to live with that." damien said broodingly. god, does anyone at this school ever listen? probably not, but it's a valid rhetorical question.

pierre sighed, picking up its things for the next class. "i'll leave you to it then. i'm gonna go stare at liam's ass in the auditorium now. goodbye."

in all honesty, there wasn't really a need for mugunghwa to be a deep, complex being. it was a siren/yong hybrid, a freak of nature that wasn't supposed to exist. they were bred for beauty, elegance, and an alluring voice that made people want to drown themselves just to hear it. in what world would a creature like that need to be its own person?

it was like buying a dollar-store item with iridescent paint. it's really pretty and you carry it around with you for weeks just because it's small and it makes you happy, but the second it chips you realized just how cheap the whole thing is and throw it out. once the illusion of wholeness is ruined, there's no going back. so they just can't ruin the illusion.

sure, sometimes the crushing weight of their lack of individuality hits them, and sometimes when they hang out with pierre they're filled with a deep almost-emotion that can only be described as a primal jealousy that it can truly and freely experience emotions. but a second passes, they remember who they need to be, and they're back to the serene, charming creature they were born to be.

pierre was the closest to getting it, really. maybe it felt bad for them. maybe he kept pushing damien to them because he saw something they didn't. maybe damien's excess of feelings would be what they needed, a spark to a flame that would lead to a cavalcade of emotions so strong they could actually feel it.

or maybe he just found it funny.

damien was so lost in thought, he had gone on a serial killing spree in the hallway just trying to understand them. oops. well, at least he gained +2 SMARTS and +1 MONEY out of it. turns out he was ransacking the corpses! yay!

the more he thought about it, the more pierre's words made sense. everything he feels is so intense and so BIG, that the opposite was unfathomable. but he wanted to understand it. why did he care so much? his stomach started hurting and his face started getting hot like it did when they talked to him. god, maybe he needed to talk to his therapist about this.

but as he walked to the bathrooms to skip class, he kept thinking. he wanted to make them happy. he knew they probably had basic emotional processes, but he wanted to do more. had they ever been in love? did he want to be the one to show them?

he brushed that thought away, ignoring how his heartbeat picked up at the thought. he had to get this stupid grin off his face before he got to the bathroom, just in case they were there. he couldn't face them just yet, because if he said something truly stupid about this and messed it up he wouldn't forgive himself. he didn't even have pierre as a reasoning this time, it would be 100% on him.

he sat on the counter and absentmindedly burned little shapes into the mirror with his finger as he thought. triangle, square, star, heart. as he thought more about whatever went on inside their head. he truly didn't know, and he noticed that there was no nagging feeling of creating some idea so he could fuel his need to be right all the time. he just wanted to know the truth. he realized that no matter what the reality of their mind may be, he'd be happy to learn. 

maybe he'll even get it one day.